Well, I Guess I Won't Be Doing That Anymore

I finally got out to the store this morning. Mom was doing good, sitting up in the den and watching television. I had about 6 bags of cans to drop off at the recycle bin at Wallyworld, but hadn't had time. So at 9:20 a.m. after telling mom about 3 times where I was going, I took off. I called mom a couple of times from the store, even had my sister call her. A little before noon I dragged myself in to the house. Mom was sitting in her chair bawling her head off. She didn't know where I was and thought I had left her. I explained to her where I had been, said I had called her twice, but she had no memory of it. So no more trips to Wallyworld, or maybe not even to a regular grocery store. My sister-in-law, from this day forward referred to as Bebo, told me later that whenever she watches mom that's all she'll talk about - "where's Evelyn" (my real name), "When will Evelyn be back." I hadn't known, Bebo hadn't told me because she didn't want to worry me. I knew that whenever I left for work mom would quiz me about where I was going and when I would be back. Now I know.

I always said that I would take care of her here in this house (barring any physical problems) until she no longer knew it was her house AND no longer knew who I was. The house is beginning to fade for her, but I guess I'm still clear in her mind.

So I guess it's time to look for someone to sit with her while I'm going to the store. I refuse to do that on Sunday because when I can get out - that's my day out, not a day to run around doing errands for her.

I wasn't aware of just how much she had become dependant upon me.