Friday, July 28, 2006
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
One and a half hours sleep, a foot doctor appointment and a small emergency this morning has thrown off my entire day. I’ve only managed to get through the “Mi’s” on my blog list, so we’ll see if the internet holds up after mom goes to bed so I can finish.
The small emergency. Well, I was getting mom ready to go to the doctor’s and she sat on the bed, only she sat too close to the edge and slid off onto the floor. You have to understand that my mom weighs around 183 lbs and all of that is dead weight. One hip is immobile and both legs are riddled with arthritis, so she can’t help me at all. Furthermore, the Alzheimer’s prevents her from fully understanding the simplest of instructions, so my getting her up by myself was impossible. I tried the neighbors house as there are two young strapping gentlemen living there (I think Stephen is 16 and Brian is around 20 – I’ve known them since Stephen was in diapers). No go – those two boys could sleep through an elephant stampede. So I had to call 911. And would you think that at least one of those firemen would be young and sexy? No chance. Mom is okay, btw. Anyway, they got her up and I had her rest for a while before attempting the dressing thing again. While they were in the room it became apparent that that dresser has to go – there would have been no way to get an ambulance gurney next to her bed. So, once again, I’ll have to put-off finishing the study to work on emptying out her chest of drawers and transferring clothes to her dresser. Then we have to get that sucker out of there. Doctor’s appointment went well, and she was up for the day. That only left time for a short nap and I am exhausted, so I'm off to bed early.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
I’ve got a nice cosy chair to sit in, a personal fan to blow on me and a lamp to read by. Now all I need is a little more space for a table of sorts to set my drink on, a clock, phone, etc. because the cats will have fun with that tray. We’re going to have to take out the dresser you see to the left of the chair, and move things around, but I think we can do it. She still has a chest of drawers which the TV is sitting on – without dad she doesn’t need both, in fact, the chest is full of junk. She’s also given me permission (she won’t remember though) to take down the decorative grouping on the wall behind the TV and put up family photos. Today she finally refused to sit on the toilet – it just hurts her too much to sit down that far. Her right hip is pretty much immobile and her legs are riddled with arthritis. Bebo is going to stop at Wallyworld tomorrow after work and pick up this toilet thing I saw – mom won’t have to sit down that far. It’s a stop-gap until I can get the thing I want – an apparatus that sits over the toilet with bars on the side to help her get up. We’ve pretty much come to the conclusion that she won’t be leaving the bedroom much. I have to see what I need to do to get a hospital bed – she’s having a hard time sitting up and it’s just practically pulling my arm out of the socket to get her into a sitting position. A hospital bed would raise her up and there would be bars to help her get out of bed. I’m hoping Medicare will pay for it, because if it doesn’t then she can’t have one. She’s been eating a little better the last couple of days, so that’s good.
Still having trouble with the internet, so I guess I’m going to have to call them too. It could be the DSL box since it’s one of the first models – you think?
UPDATE: Couldn't post this last night because of the internet, so by this time Bebo has arrived with the toilet thingy and it works like a charm. Yay!!!!
Friday, July 21, 2006
My Kingdom for a Nap
THE CHAIR arrives Saturday which means my life shut in mother's room will begin. It's almost half-way that now since she calls me in there every five minutes or so, which makes this week of cleaning hard to do. I've already started ordering season DVD's of shows that she likes because the cable in that room is limited. We have what are referred to as A and B channels, and that TV only gets B channels, like Sci-Fi (not for her) and Court TV (also a no-no), but History Channel, TCM and GSN do help. So yesterday the 6th season of I Love Lucy and the 1st season of The Rockford Files arrived (mom loves Rockford). I have to make sure that I buy things that I don't mind watching.
This week off of the blogs has been hard, but necessary as I have managed to get a lot of organizing and cleaning done. Hopefully I'll finish by Monday (it's been so hot that I haven't been able to clean after noon). I've also got to figure out someway to organize my blogging - since my time away from mom will be limited. Oh well, something else to think about.
That's it - I know, very deep and revealing post, but I'm too tired to think of anything else. Well, there is the Regis Philbin thing - which I'll blog about later.
Monday, July 17, 2006
I’m still working on the VCR/TV/DVD situation in her bedroom. Bebo and I bought a chair on Saturday (yes, my friend Susie came and sat with mom while I got out for 2 hours – mind you, about an hour of that was shopping for mom stuff, but hey, I’m not picky) and I’m still waiting for it to be delivered. “They” were supposed to call me today or Tuesday to let me know when. She enjoyed lying in bed this morning and watching “Support Your Local Sheriff” except she just couldn’t understand what Rockford was doing. And I’ve discovered that it’s hard to clean in a separate room while she’s around. Every five minutes she would call me into her bedroom and ask what I was doing. Sheesh.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
A Good Day
I'm going to have to make some changes though - get out the credit card and buy a recliner or something so that I can sit in her room with her. I know that a lot of times she's in bed because her arthritis hurts her and she's more comfortable there. I'm also going to have to do some switching around of TV's and get another DVD player - maybe some more DVD's. If it weren't for the fact that she does go in to the den from time to time, I would move the recliner, TV and DVD player from in there, but oh well.
Hmmm, not a very enlightening or deep post, but it'll do for today.
Friday, July 14, 2006
Thursday, July 13, 2006
A Nap is a Terrible Thing to Waste
"What's the matter mom?"
"Someone's going to get killed"
So what have the cats done this time? "Who mom?"
She came into my room and sat on the bed. "Regis says his dad is going to be killed" (she has a fixation on Regis Philbin).
I'm not quite awake yet. "Mom, Regis is close to your age, I think his dad has been gone for some time."
"Oh no, that's not right" she became more agitated.
"Who told you this?"
"He told me when I was downtown."
I guess my disbelief must have shown on my face as she got up in a flounce and left the room as only an arthritic woman can.
So, now I'm worried about Regis' dad.
I'm going to be so dead tomorrow.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Memories ... Fight the Corners of My Mind
I saw on the news one day that people who worry alot have a higher incidence of developing Alzheimer's. Great, something else to worry about.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Well, I Guess I Won't Be Doing That Anymore
I always said that I would take care of her here in this house (barring any physical problems) until she no longer knew it was her house AND no longer knew who I was. The house is beginning to fade for her, but I guess I'm still clear in her mind.
So I guess it's time to look for someone to sit with her while I'm going to the store. I refuse to do that on Sunday because when I can get out - that's my day out, not a day to run around doing errands for her.
I wasn't aware of just how much she had become dependant upon me.
I'm Supposed to Take Care of You
I saw my mother today - and she wanted to take care of me.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Are you my mother?
"No momma, I'm your daughter"
"Well, of course you are." Her blue eyes sparkled as she looked at me, she was there, right in the moment. Mom had come back to me.
The first few years of Alzheimer's, for me, were the hardest. Well, that's not true. The first year was pretty easy as my father was still alive and they spent their days together and not a lot was required of me. Then my father's health became worse and we lost him in October of 2000. It was just mom and I. She was officially diagnosed with Alzheimer's in January of 2001. Watching my father die in hospice was a far easier task. He took his last breath and he was gone. Alzheimer's is the death of a soul. Some people argue that point, but that's how I feel. My mother, everything that she was, left me last year. There's a stranger in her bed now, wearing her clothes, sitting in her chair. Alzheimer's is a far more cruel death. That first year after diagnosis there would be days when I questioned the doctor's words. Mom seemed fine most of the time - oh, a few memory lasps, but what elderly person doesn't suffer from that malady? And then, suddenly out of the blue, she wouldn't remember how to start the dryer, her words were wrong - Maloxx for Matlock, for instance - and it soon became evident to me, if not to others, that mom "wasn't right". I think of this as a battle, with Alzheimer's being the Devil. For those first few years we fought triumphantly, keeping him at bay. But in the last few months he's strengthened and we have found ourselves on the losing side. Mom spends most of her days in bed now, confused about even the simplist things like how to stand up. She still knows who I am, but the confusion of our roles comes more often. I know that someday soon she'll look up and I will be her mother.